..me"..me/傲慢与偏见最新章节！
She perfectly remembered everythg that had passed conversation between Wickham and herself, their first eveng at Mr.Phillips''s.Many of his expressions were still fresh her memory. She was now struck with the impropriety of such communications to a stranger, and wondered it had escaped her before. She saw the delicacy of puttg himself forward as he had done,and the consistency of his professions with his conduct.She remembered that he had boasted of havg no fear of seeg Mr.Darcy—that Mr.Darcy might leave the country,but that he should stand his ground;yet he had avoided the Netherfield ball the very next week. She remembered also that,till the Netherfield family had quitted the country,he had told his story to no one but herself;but that after their removal it had been everywhere discussed;that he had then no reserves, no scruples skg Mr. Darcy''s character, though he had assured her that respect for the father would always prevent his exposg the son.
How differently did everythg now appear which he was concerned!His attentions to Miss Kg were now the consequence of views solely and hatefully mercenary;and the mediocrity of her fortune proved no longer the moderation of his wishes, but his eagerness to grasp at anythg. His behaviour to herself could now have had no tolerable motive;he had either been deceived with regard to her fortune, or had been gratifyg his vanity by encouragg the preference which she believed she had most cautiously shown. Every lgerg struggle his favour grew fater and fater; and farther justification of Mr. Darcy, she could not but allow that Mr. Bgley, when questioned by Jane, had long ago asserted his blamelessness the affair; that proud and repulsive as were his manners, she had never, the whole course of their acquatance—an acquatance which had latterly brought them much together, and given her a sort of timacy with his ways—seen anythg that betrayed him to be unprcipled or unjust—anythg that spoke him of irreligious or immoral habits;that among his own connections he was esteemed and valued—that even Wickham had allowed him merit as a brother,and that she had often heard him speak so affectionately of his sister as to prove him capable of some amiable feelg;that had his actions been what Mr.Wickham represented them, so gross a violation of everythg right could hardly have been concealed from the world;and that friendship between a person capable of it, and such an amiable man as Mr. Bgley, was comprehensible.
She grew absolutely ashamed of herself.Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she thk without feelg she had been bld, partial,prejudiced,absurd.
“How despicably I have acted!”she cried;“I,who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valued myself on my abilities!who have often disdaed the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity useless or blameable mistrust! How humiliatg is this discovery!Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been love,I could not have been more wretchedly bld! But vanity,not love,has been my folly.Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very begng of our acquatance,I have courted prepossession and ignorance,and driven reason away,where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself.”
From herself to Jane—from Jane to Bgley,her thoughts were a le which soon brought to her recollection that Mr.Darcy''s explanation there had appeared very sufficient,and she read it aga.Widely different was the effect of a second perusal.How could she deny that credit to his assertions one stance,which she had been obliged to give the other?He declared himself to be totally unsuspicious of her sister''s attachment;and she could not help rememberg what Charlotte''s opion had always been. Neither could she deny the justice of his deion of Jane.She felt that Jane''s feelgs,though fervent,were little displayed,and that there was a constant complacency her air and manner not often united with great sensibility.
When she came to that part of the letter which her family were mentioned terms of such mortifyg, yet merited reproach,her sense of shame was severe.The justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial,and the circumstances to which he particularly alluded as havg passed at the Netherfield ball, and as confirmg all his first disapprobation, could not have made a stronger impression on his md than on hers.
The compliment to herself and her sister was not unfelt. It soothed, but it could not console her for the contempt which had thus been self-attracted by the rest of her family;and as she considered that Jane''s disappotment had fact been the work of her nearest relations,and reflected how materially the credit of both must be hurt by such impropriety of conduct, she felt depressed beyond anythg she had ever known before.
After wanderg along the lane for two hours, givg way to every variety of thought—re-considerg events, determg probabilities, and reconcilg herself, as well as she could, to a change so sudden and so important, fatigue, and a recollection of her long absence, made her at length return home; and she entered the house with the wish of appearg cheerful as usual, and the resolution of repressg such reflections as must make her unfit for conversation.
She was immediately told that the two gentlemen from Rosgs had each called durg her absence;Mr.Darcy,only for a few mutes, to take leave—but that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been sittg with them at least an hour, hopg for her return, and almost resolvg to walk after her till she could be found. Elizabeth could but just affect concern missg him;she really rejoiced at it. Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object; she could thk only of her letter.
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